| so, |
[07 Oct 2008|03:23am] |
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mood |
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 high |
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im listening to aesop. im pretty high. i had so many things i wanted to mention while i was driving home, thinking about the previous hours that had past. i was hanging with derrick and rigg. wow, what random good times we just had. at most random places like kellys in downey. i hadnt seen derrick in a few months and rigg, in a good 3 years or more.
fuck.
life is seriously crazy.
the mix of acohol and marijuana does something else to you. what is that chemical reaction that gets you on a different planet? cray-z
i wish i could really write more. theres so much to tell and so much that has passed on by.
(i hope i get a lot of comments from people wanting more :] hahahahaha)
okay. im ridiculous. goodnight.
-Mattchew Lee
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| get real |
[26 May 2008|10:58pm] |
so my mom has this dude (chris) over for dinner.
she made him enchiladas (my favorite food)
.. she never makes me enchiladas dammit!
well my mom has her hair all done, and make up and whatever
and this dude has a fuckin sleeveless shirt on with jean shorts (jorts)
come on man, my mom has more class than that.
well i hope so. she better recognize or some shit cause this is retarded
i dont know. im not at all jealous of the whole enchilada thing but this is the first time shes had a dude over in a long time. the other dude was tom from her church, which my brother and i knew pretty well. he was a dodger fan and he was coo, but my mom never knew what signals he was throwing around, so things kinda ended once he moved to hawaii.
anyway, chris never really said much to me, just the simple handshake and "nice to meet you" bullshit. yeah yeah, get real with your jean shorts and fuckin sleeveless shirt. i dont mean to be a dick already but for some reason i can see it all unfolding. me not approving (my brother as well), my mom getting pissed, me around the house when theyre home or me searching for somewhere to go when hes here... so basically, i just want to fucking move out and avoid it all. im old enough where i need to take care of myself and not live for free under moms roof. i want to bounce.
on the way up to the desert there are some new homes popping up. adelanto (which isnt too far from victorville) houses are goin between 100k and 200k! so sweet. all i would have to do is find a job or two and i think i might be able to make it. with my experience i think i can find a manager assistant position or something decently ranking. also, customer service which im sure i can score decently on. i just figure, if im going to move out, for the same price as rent on an apartment, i could be purchasing a house. i would just be about 2 hours away from here. i dont know, it would take some figuring out. i would probably need a friend with me for a little bit. some say theyre down, but are they really? honestly down? its a test.
for a while, i didnt give a shit about anything. i didnt care about this, no worries about that, then all of a sudden, ive turned 180. im starting to think about the rest of my life. ugh man its killin me. i would never think this way. life is too short to worry about the future.
so what the fuck is going on? recently ive been having trouble sleeping, hating waking up, hating my job. when before i wouldnt really care and i would just go through with it. fuck its pissing me off. i would do anything without a care. burn weed, do x, get drunk on a weekday... and now i havent smoked in a month or more, done x in longer, and i just drink on the weekends haha. somethings gotta change.
i had a dream about the end of the world, and it was pretty trippy shit. i got kinda scared actually. it made me think.. damn, i dont wanna be here when the world is gonna end. some wild stuff is gonna go down.
my life in one word: restless
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